Merchandising!
(Where the real money from the love is made)
With Valentine's Day looming almost a week away, I've been avoiding the card shoppes for fear of all the sparkly red & pink things that will try and eat me. So far, I've been maddeningly successful, though not because of my staunch resolve. No, I'm avoiding the mall's Hallmark store out of fear. Fear of the large display of these things just inside the front entrance:

He's called "The Dancing Love Machine." And as near as I can tell, he's going to devour us all in our sleep if we welcome him into our house like some demonic vacuum cleaner salesman. The design of this strange little creature is also puzzling. As near as I can tell, they took:

And spliced him with:

And the end result was:

I am perplexed and terrified at how someone thought this was a good idea.
Labels: Can't sleep dancing love machine will eat me
posted by Phillip at 4:53 AM
How To Bake Your Noodle In 7 Quick, Easy Steps
First...
1) put on the movie
Ranma 1/2: Nihao My Concubine2) make sure you have the dub track on (don't worry, this one won't bite)
3) skip ahead to any scene with Prince Tomo
Then...
4) replace the
Ranma 1/2 movie with the new
Battlestar Galactica TV series
5) skip ahead to any scene heavily featuring Lt. Gaeta (the most recent eps are
. very good for this, but admittedly bad for your stress levels)
6) listen very carefully to Gaeta's voice
And finally...
7) notice any similarities?
After she made the connection and verified it on IMDB, poor Mel could barely watch the dubbed Ranma movie because her mind shattered every time Tomo had a line. All those toaster jokes I kept making afterwards probably didn't help either.
But that's all for now, though in the very near future, there will be a very virile book report and a sadly true, textbook
Chaos-no-Baka moment coming to this little bit of nowhere.
Labels: The Prince of Togenkyo Island would like you to please stop showing affection to those frakking toasters
posted by Phillip at 7:51 AM